Random Thoughts In The Most Hellish Semester

   Okay! Its been months since I last posted here. And during these months, there's just a lot of things going on my mind, especially this month. That's why I called this period, THE MOST HELLISH WEEK/MONTH EVAH! HAHA. Kidding aside, these thoughts are bugging me BIG TIME, that it always in my mind before going to bed or I suddenly felt nervous. TSSHH...

   These thoughts are personal and at the same time about my acads. Well, in a few months, I'm gonna face the real world, so the pressure is creepng in my mind already. Also, this thesis that is getting into my head. THIS IS MAKING ME CRAZZZY! And this documentary film project that we need to finish in just over a month. Hooh! It's a miracle that I'm still alive and kicking some ass. But dude, there's more! AN action-filled-dramedy MOVIE! Whoooa! Now I'm feeling the graduating jitters. HAHA

 

   Actually, I love doing these things cause TV prod is my passion. But doing four things at the same time is the thing that's making my final year, our final year, dreadful. So much for this stuffs. I need to get going. Still need to have an ocular inspection in one of our location.

 

 

The Great Pretender

This has been bugging me for months now. It's been months since I started realizing how jerk I have been. I pretended that I didn't care much about her where in fact I'm dying to be with her AGAIN. I always say to myself to stop this crap and start showing what I really feel, but when the moment come, I end up always ignoring her. What's wrong with me? I know I got afraid of being in a relationship once but I now realize that I'm not afraid of what I'm going to feel, I'm afraid for her to feel like I don't care enough. Make sense? I don't know either. I'm confused. I always am.

 

 

Now that I think (and saw) another guy is into her, MAN my heart is tearing into pieces. It hurt so much to see that the girl that you didn't stand up to is now with other man. Am I jealous? Yes, I am jealous. If it wasn't for me being jerk, pretending that I don't care anymore, I should've been that guy who's with her.

 

 

I miss her so badly but I can't do anything now. If that guy can make her happy, well I'm happy for her. Martyr sounded but that's the truth. I cannot return the past. Maybe the Tibetan Personality Test is correct, she will be the girl that I will remember forever. JUST THE GIRL THAT I WILL REMEMBER FOREVER.

 

 

Sorry for the sentiments but I really need a medium to release this pain of mine.

Just A Thought

Just wanna share this. This is my photo essay for our school publication. When our Editor-In-Chief told me to do a photo essay,I dont know what I am gonna do. It took me two days to come up with this idea. Its my final year in college and I think of what I had been experienced in the university. And the result is this. My experiences, OUR experiences in the local state university.

Actually after graduation, I still don't know how to deal with the real world. I know that I can, but there's the  fear of I don't know, maybe rejection? *sigh*

Well that's it for now. I think this post is so random, isn't it? HAHAHA That's because I really don't know what to post. But I'm having the urge to blog. Okay. Bye!

Hello There!

Gaaah! It's been a month since I last posted here. You know the feeling that you like to express every emotions you have that day but you end not expressing it because you're too lazy to blog it or even tweet it. HAHAHA That's what I felt these past days, LAZINESS! :D

Well, gotta post here soon, once I overcome this laziness and of course when I finally constructed a worthy-to-blog blog post.  Yiiiieeee.

BYIEEEE :**

Should I grab the opportunity?

According to a saying, "Opportunity knocks only once.". Well, this is also one of the reason why I am confused. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, let me tell you what I did.

One day ago, as part of my daily routine, I browse my facebook and open some volleyball fanpage to get updated of what's happening in the world of that sport. Then a post from a very influential, maybe, site got my attention stating in their post that they're hiring writers, photographers, etc. for their site. And without even thinking, I commented "ME!" After that I immediately open my e-mail account and send my resume with a short letter to them.

That moment really made me so nervous cause man, it's a real deal already! It's a real job for damn goodness sake! A couple of hours after I submiited my application, they replied.

And that really broke my heart into tiny little pieces. Being a sports enthusiast and most especially volleyball fanatic and also as my love for sports writing is blooming within me, I know I am capable of having that job. I want it so badly!

But the thing is Shakey's V-league and UAAP overlaps with my studies. I can go to Manila by myself and hello, TECHNOLOGY! After I cover those games I can go home after and write the news and e-mail it to them but I'm afraid that I will certainly do sacrifice a lot of time, my studies, especially that my course required a lot of time, and time for my friends. Production is also one of my greatest love and I don't wanna sacrifice it but I think if I had the job, THERE'S A GREAT INSTANCE THAT I WILL KINDA SACRIFICE IT TOO. I really dunno know what I am going to do now.

I seek advice to my friends they all said the same thing,if this is what I want to do, then pursue it. I even told it to my mom. She said to wait till I graduate since it'll just take a year for me to finish my degree. Certainly, my mom was right. I know that I am a capable man and I can find a job that I want and suit what I finished in college. But on the other hand, the opportunity is knocking dude! It's here! Well as my very good friend/blogmate said if I didn't grab the opportunity there's a great great chance that someone will stole it from me. And that is BULLSHIT!

Right now, I really really dunno what to do. Should I grab the opportunity and tell them ways how can I make this possible even I'm based here in Laguna? or Should I just let it go and wait till after graduation to seek for a job. *sigh* That's all I can do now, to sigh, sigh of confusion, frustration and many other -tion.

You're free to comment if you have any suggestion.

Thank you for reading my frustrations. :)

FINALLY

K. I'll be working on for my first post this year! HAHAHA we're almost halfway of the year but I'm just getting started on it. tss. This past few days, we've (my family) been undergoing such a big roadblock and I know we can overcome this. THINK POSITIVE!

Hopefully I can work it out within this week but we'll see. :)) I MISS YOU GUYS! HAHAHA I MISS MY BLOG! And i've done a little customizing here and hopefully you'll liked it!

Well, gotta go! The whole details will be posted soon. :) I promise that for this year, I'll be posting more about my emotions, memories, and my photographs. BYE!

Photography is my calling.

These are the photos that i used for my photo essay during our press con. Well, i finished second place but that's a big big achievement for me coz its the first time that I join a photojourn contest in my 18 years of existence in this world. Yes I joined press con when I was in elementary and part of our school publication when I was in high school but this is different man! I was then a writer but now, a photojournalist which I considered myself as a beginner, amateur or whatsoever. 

 I began my interest in photography just last year i think. My professor and I was covering a school event and she asked me to shot some actions that was happening at that moment. Then after I gave her the camera she analyzed it and gave me some criticisms. What surprise me was that I don't even got mad at her, instead it catch my interest and listen to her criticisms. Then after that I try to take some shots again and luckily Im a good listener. She said na pwede na daw! At least there's an improvement :)) And that's how photography captured my attention.

 After that, I think it just continued and my love for photography blossomed cause since then I became the videographer and photographer every time we have a project. And because of these projects, my skills and knowledge in photography was enhanced.

Currently, I am the Photojournalist II of our school paper. Honestly speaking, I don't have any knowledge about photojourn except the basic that you should capture an action picture. But they invest on me. We  even attended a NATIONAL TRAINING WORKSHOP in Baguio a couple of months ago. Then they even put me on the list of student journalist who compete at the recently concluded Regional Higher Press Con. WOW! Though I didn't manage to win but I feel like I won too cause our facilitator there even secretly coached me and gave me some tips on lay outing. Well, that's good enough I think for a first timer like me.

I enjoy working behind the camera and even handling the camera. I dunno, there's something in there that's really catch my interest. I even decided already that after I graduate from college, I will take a crash course or a short course or even seminars about photography. This is what I want to do in the future. I don't consider this as a dream job, I consider it as a calling. This is my calling and I will do whatever it takes just to be a photographer someday. Not just a photographer, but a good photographer. I don't care if the salary is not that big but what I want is to pursue and do my passion and just enjoy every single moment of it. Cause this will carry memories that I want my children to see and be proud of me. :))